Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Ten on Tuesday: 10 Retirement Jobs I Want

I feel like my blog is always about working (Gee...cause that's all I seem to do lately?) I've told you about jobs I dream about doing and jobs I've lived through. But ultimately, I just cannot wait till I retire! I know that is still (at least) 31 years away, but I just can not wait! I know I will be one of those "busy" retirees....going to play shuffleboard then bingo, then volunteering somewhere, then taking a long nap, before heading out to dinner. I know I have some time to worry about this next phase of my life, but while on vacation, I found 10 jobs that maybe I could handle in retirement.

1. Train Announcer:

The genious who thought of having trains run from parking lots to venue, also thought of the genious job that I think sounds ideal. I would just announce parking lot letters then remind them "please keep hands and feet inside train at all times." I maybe could even practice a few corny jokes on the crowd. All while sitting and being in the fresh air, shaded too I might add.

2: Staff Photographer

I've got 31+ years to practice my photography skills for this one, but please, if they don't like the photos I take, they don't have to buy them! When we went on the tour to go feed the giraffes at Busch Gardens, the jealousy I had for this guy was immeasurable! He didn't have to answer questions. He didn't have to talk. He just snapped pictures of people and animals. What a great living. And how fun to be with those loving giraffes several times a day!

3. Ice Cream Shop Owner

Even though Matt would probably open another Dippin' Merv's today if I let him, maybe I'll consider it when we retire. This little stand at the end of the pier seemed like an ideal place. Not so sure I would love to touch bait, but maybe just to please the crowd I could throw around that idea. This guy even had pelican food to buy....like pelicans are such picky eaters!

4: Hot Dog Stand Owner

This hot dog stand in St. Petersburg was honestly my first experience at a hot dog stand. But this simple life seemed like it wouldn't be such a bad gig.

5: Waverunner Rental Girl

This one I have experience with....I wonder if they ask for that on the application? When we spotted this guy directing the waverunner on how to come in for landing in Clearwater, I knew I better practice my instructions even more this summer. Surely if I can get a waverunner onto a trailer I can get the driver to stop before going on the sand!

6: Ticket Taker

Matt and I have been going to Spring Training baseball games for 3 seasons now. Last year we thought that the parking attendants at the game had it made--they could always go catch the rest of the game. But this year I decided that ticket taker would be more my game. Shady, stress free, and still done before the 3rd inning!

7: Lead Singer

If ticket-taking doesn't work out, then my next option would be to help people find their seats. I thought this seemed ideal enough but then when I saw our guide whip out actions to Sweet Caroline and lead the crowd to Take Me Out to the Ballgame, I wanted to cry. It would almost be like leading a group into rounds of Make New Friends at Girl Scouts!! Put me on the waiting list!

8. Street Performer

While waiting for the sunset at Mallory Square in Key West, there were street performers everywhere. We watched some guy who had trained his cats to jump over people, etc. We watched another guy play the bag pipes while on a unicycle. But the best one by far was watching this guy jump out from behind the palm branches to scare people. Of course, he was noticed only after he scared the living daylights out of me. I screamed so loud and once I got over my embarrassement, we stood back so we could watch others in fear. He seemed to be doing quite well with tips, and I think his investment seemed fairly cheap!

9. Guest Photographer

Again, I see a need and I want to bank on that demand and increase supply (thank you Econ 101). While in Key West, you MUST go to the most southern point in the U.S. And to tell everyone you made it there, you need a photo to send back. But...wouldn't it be nice if you could trust a professional photographer to take your photo instead of just the next person in line, who you hope (a) speaks English and (b) doesn't run off with your new, good camera. And if that wasn't enough, I would make sure those idiots sitting right behind the darn thing move out the way so they aren't in everyone's picture!

10. Segway Tour Guide

The final job I desire may not even wait till retirement. Matt and I had a blast on our Segway tour. But we left thinking this was a business we should pursue. It took about 2 minutes to teach the old and young alike how to operate these machines. Then we just went on a walk, well ride, around town. Our tour was just over 2 hours. The tour guide was going to eat lunch when we left then come back for another afternoon session. She said she could always add a weekend session or a 3rd session if she wanted more money. But of course, if you just want the day off, you tell people who call for reservations that you are "full" that day. Gee, I think Little Rock really needs this job. We could call it Rollin' on the River. Would you come visit?

There's no doubt in my mind that Matt will also have to find a job... or two or three. He MUST keep busy! We think that this job of moving the sand on the beach looked like it was right up his alley. Except of course, he would be on a CAT tractor.

But then again, I sort of envision retirement to be a lot like this:


  1. Hahahahahah! Thanks for the smiles tonight. I think lead singer or the guy scaring tourists would be my pick for you. I'll come visit!

  2. I have always dreamed of being a river tour guide when I retire. I would love to show up at work everyday around ten, work on the boat for a couple of hours, then throw on my captain hat and drive around on the water telling stories to different groups of passengers every afternoon!