To Do: Pee in a cup

Pee in a cup. Simple. That's all I had to do today (well after giving blood, which I can now ace, thank you very much).

But no, it did not go so well. Let me just tell you. So I had an appointment at 10:30 for a physical, as Matt (our financial planner) wanted to up the life insurance on me. Note: Yes, my value has increased as a housewife.

You should also know that peeing constantly has already hit this pregnant lady. Every 1.5-2 hours for sure! (TMI I know, but it helps you understand the story). So when I was about to bust this morning at 9am, I decided that if I drank some water, I should be okay to pee in the cup at 10:30. I'm a pro now--do it at every doctor appointment!

Luckily, I did not hold my 9am pee, because the nurse lady did everything else first. I'm sure I would have been dying! But then came the time when she handed me the tiny dixie cup and asked me to fill it past the line. I can do this. I'm a pro remember. But, what felt like 30 seconds later to me, I hear "Miss Ervin, are you okay?" Give me a minute lady! She tells me to come fill out some papers then drink a cup of water and we'll try again in a few minutes. The only part that kept me from being totally embarrassed at this point is that the other lady in the waiting room had told me when I arrived that she had dropped her cup in the toilet after peeing, so now she had to drink up and try again. So here we both were, just waiting for our pee to arrive.

I think they gave me like 10 minutes and it was time to try again. I knew my shy bladder was not ready. But I had to try. Result: 3 drops. Failure!

So the nurse lady, Billy, told me to go get a bite to eat and drink more water and come back when I was ready. Great! I was going to wait until I was about to bust. I went to T.J. Maxx and walked around. No pee. I went to grab lunch and drank more water. No pee. I went to Target and walked around. No pee. Okay, it had been 1.5 hours by now. Surely I could do it. I figured Billy was probably wondering what happened to me! So back I went. Of course, Billy was at lunch. Another nurse gave me a cup and I was determined I wasn't coming out until I had success. Finally--Pee!! But...not enough to make it to the line.

I told her to call me if it wasn't enough. I still had perishables to buy at Target so back there I went. As I'm checking out, a strange phone number calls. OMG! It was Billy. Good news was that I did pee enough. Bad news was: I had to sign off on my pee. Back I went again. 3 hours later I was on my way home.

So if anyone would like to help me, I think it's time we as women put our heads together and make an invention to make peeing in a cup easier! I know I have a shy bladder, but seriously, trying to pee while squatting with your legs apart holding a cup (that you hope not to drop) and you hope you don't get pee on your hands, is not an easy feat. You must agree? This invention could keep me as a housewife for years to come!

Needless to say, my next ob appointment is at 10:30 and I now know that no matter what, I am not peeing that morning before I go! I learned my lesson!